A Saudi family therapist just issued a video on Memri TV giving guidance on how to beat your wife while he quoted specific verses in the Qur’an to justify assault on another person.
Khaled Al-Saqaby, who recognizes that beating one’s wife is a “sensitive issue,” states up front in the video, “I am aware that this issue is a thorny one, … but Allah willing, we will cross this bridge safely.”
“I believe that the problem arises when husbands do not understand how to deal with disobedience,” Al-Saqaby added.
Al-Saqaby then gave a run-down of “Qur’an-inspired tips” in dealing with a “disobedient wife.” First, he says that before you begin physically abusing her, you should remind her of “your rights and her duties, according to Allah.”
Another option is to withhold sex, but do not sleep around or at someone else’s house because neighbors will know you are fighting. Instead, “stay in bed with her, but turn your back to her, or else sleep in a separate bed in the same room.”
If that does not work, then you may physically assault and beat your wife.
“We have to understand that the aim is to discipline, not to went one’s anger.” Al-Saqaby said. “The necessary Islamic conditions for beating must be met.”
Al-Saqaby insists, however, that he has no desire to physically abuse women. That’s why you shouldn’t hit them with a rod or headband or “sharp object.” Those would be too harsh, he says. Instead, you should use a “tooth-cleaning twig” or handkerchief — the equivalent of hitting someone with a feather — because then you’re showing your disappointment without actually hurting her. Remember: the goal is to make her feelbad, not leave scars.
Al-Saqaby then gives occasions where it is then ok for a wife to hit her husband however, the husband is only at fault due to being poorly raised by his mother. So, according to Al-Saqaby, no matter the act of “disobedience” or who committed it, a women is always the root cause and is always at fault.
“Unfortunately, some wives want to live a life of equality with their husband, and this can never happen,” ” Al-Saqaby said. “A life of equality – you do something, and I’ll do the same. This is a very grave problem.”