Science

Research suggests that loudmouth monkeys tend to have smaller balls

This is not a joke. And yes, Jacob Dunn is a real scientist.

In his research at the University of Cambridge’s biological anthropology department, Dunn confirmed something you’ve suspected for a long time: Men tend to overcompensate when they’re lacking certain ‘reproductive traits.’

According to Dunn’s research, primates that exhibit the loudest roars tend to have smaller testicles, which results in less sperm.

“When males invest in large bodies, bright colors, or weaponry such as horns or long canines, they are unable to also invest in reproductive traits,” Dunn said.

Of course.

Big trucks, roided-out physiques — science thinks that these dudes are packing small more often than not.

“It may be that investment in developing a large vocal organ and roaring is so costly that there is simply not enough energy left to invest in testes,” Dunn said to U.S. News.

So the next time you get cat-called, just refer the person to this study.

Watch a video below on the study uploaded to YouTube by Cambridge University:

Featured image via screen grab

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Lilace Mellin Guignard

    October 23, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    Greta study, but the article makes several false claims. The study says nothing about men, only males of certain monkey species. We can extrapolate but it’s conjecture. Wouldn’t it be fun to do a study on human men?!

  2. Tamra Scott-Hunt

    October 23, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    You can’t extrapolate from the study you’re referencing which was done on howler monkeys, not human males. Having said that, I’m certain another study using human males would produce the same results. “Evolutionary Trade-Off between Vocal Tract and Testies Dimension in Howler Monkeys”. http://www.cell.com/current-biology/pdfExtended/S0960-9822(15)01109-4

  3. Jonny Dadras

    October 23, 2015 at 11:24 pm

    The study does not suggest the headline –though we all want to believe that. I think the study shows that journalists have smaller gonads, always making loud inaccurate headlines for attention.

  4. Ronald Mcloughlin

    October 24, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    You mean to say that these 3 hunks doesn’t have a 10-incher among them?

  5. H

    October 25, 2015 at 2:05 am

    This study was on one type of monkey. Not people.

    Derpaderpaderp

  6. Lodrik

    October 25, 2015 at 6:05 am

    totally out of context (the studie is about a specific monkey species…)

  7. hannahmanning3

    October 25, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    This research pertains to howler monkeys, not human males.

  8. Patrick

    October 26, 2015 at 2:10 am

    Ha, no surprise. Real men don’t need to prove their masculinity.

  9. Patrick Milliken

    October 26, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    I’m too busy hauling my enormous testicles around to be able to catcall – I need as much energy as I can muster.

  10. Gail

    October 27, 2015 at 4:43 am

    Now, I’m really confused, you mean howler monkeys due cat calls? AND they where wife beater shirts?

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