Satire

‘Trumpy Bear’ is real, not a joke, and costs 40 fucking dollars

“A storm is coming,” says the commercial. “You cannot defeat the storm,” says a real actual advertisement for this actual product.

What is Trumpy Bear, you ask? Allow me to explain:

DO YOU LOVE YOUR COUNTRY?

DO YOU LOVE THE TROOPS?

DO YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE TOO HARD ON A MAN WHO COMMITTED TAX FRAUD TO THE TUNE OF AT LEAST HALF A BILLION DOLLARS?

THEN DO WE HAVE THE PRODUCT FOR YOU!

Trumpy Bear is a big-ass teddy bear with a shitty combover and a suit that actually fits, so it’s a hit-and-miss as an actual imitation of our Dear Leader, but you’ll LOVE the little guy anyway.

You can take it with you on your motorcycle while you mock Democrats for not growing the fuck up and putting their big boy pants on.

Trump Bear has an American flag blanket inside of it and a certificate of authenticity.

What does a certificate of authenticity even do in this situation what even is that what are you talking about.

YOU CAN COMB ITS HAIR AND TAKE CARE OF IT.

It’s the perfect gift for your geriatric relative who hates illegals but also hates asylum seekers and literally doesn’t know the difference.

“FUCK YOUR FEELINGS,” this stuffed animal for grown-ass people says.

“OH LOOK WHO NEEDS A SAFE SPACE,” this ferocious toy declares to those West Coast elites whose homes are burning down.

Trumpy Bear is a real product and it costs two payments of $19.95.

This bear costs 40 fucking dollars.

Enjoy:

Featured image via screen grab

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