Sheriff Mike Jolley put up a sign welcoming any non-residents with a friendly warning that if you kill someone here, they’ll kill you right back. He also added that there’s only one jail and 356 cemeteries — which, honestly, how many residents are even in this county that you need 356 cemeteries?
Sheriff Jolley is the same guy who, back in 2015, put up a different sign warning visitors that “Harris County is politically incorrect. We say: Merry Christmas, God Bless America and In God We Trust. We salute our troops and our flag. If this offends you… LEAVE!”
Well gee. Don’t I feel welcomed.
This reminds me of Sammi Sweetheart on season 1 of Jersey Shore saying, “I’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet, but do not fuck with me.”
Sheriff Jolley is the angry white Southern man version of Sammi Sweetheart with just a dash of Hateful Paranoid Jesus (as opposed to Regular Jesus, who is neither hateful nor paranoid).
Look, it’s not about political correctness or respecting (white Christian) beliefs. If your version of welcoming somebody includes a threat and the word “cemeteries,” you are not a welcoming person. Check yourself.
What even is this version of the Bible y’all are reading? From which gospel are you even getting your weird, insular, “I protect what’s mine with my God-given right to an AR-15” attitude that’s so intensely aggressive, it’s how you say hello? What is your actual definition of “hospitality”? What is your personal definition of “charm”? Why are you assuming that any outsider is going to either demand you change your religion or kill you instead of simply visiting the place? Which version of Jesus taught you to assume the worst of people you don’t know or who don’t look like you?
There are so many places in the world that we as Americans are told are unsafe to go, but I think for my own list, I’ll go ahead and put rural Georgia right near the top. If this is at all representative of what a tourist can expect – a town of trigger-happy religious extremists paranoid about “outsiders” trying something funny — then y’all are fucking crazy.
Seriously, though. Someone send me that Bible. I am mad curious about it.
Featured image via WTVM