Every anti-gay Christian conservative should read this stormy homoerotic love saga in the bible

When I was a kid, I read my bible comics pretty thoroughly and I never caught sight of this.

When I was a kid, I read my bible comics pretty thoroughly and I never caught sight of this.

Writing for Patheos, Awkward Moments Children’s Bible author Horus Gilgamesh highlighted a section of his volume #2 edition, where he combines passages pertaining to David and Jonathan’s “special relationship” with each other (1 Samuel and 2 Samuel).

Seriously, it’s pretty steamy between these two.

Here are the passages summarized by Gilgamesh below:

King Saul had a son named Jonathan and a servant named Jesse who had a son of his own, named David. When Jonathan and David first met, they were knit together at the soul. Because of their love for one another, they made a covenant. Jonathan removed his robe and gave it to David. He also gave his garments, even his sword, his bow, and his girdle to the son of his family’s servant.

King Saul became jealous of David’s success and blessings from the Lord and wanted him dead, tricking Jonathan into bringing David to him. When Saul tried to kill David, he escaped to live with Samuel and was able to evade more attempts on his life.

David returned to ask Jonathan, “What have I done wrong? Why is your father trying to kill me?” Jonathan replied, “This can’t be true! I can’t believe it!” David explained, “Your father knows very well that you have come to look favorably on me. He’ll kill me.”“I will do anything you want me to,” said Jonathan. Then Jonathan made David reaffirm his vow of love again, for Jonathan loved David as he loved his own soul.

David fled again. When Saul found out, he was very angry with Jonathan, saying, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do you think I don’t know that you have chosen the son of our own servant to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? Bring David to me – he is dead!”

d and j

“Jonathan Lovingly Taketh His Leave of David” (Julius Schnorr von Karolsfeld)

When Jonathan asked his father, “Why do you want to kill David? What did he do wrong?,” the King threw his spear across the room and tried to kill his own son. Now knowing that his father desperately wanted to kill David, Jonathan became angry and left the table. He was so upset and angry with his father that he refused to eat any food.  His father had humiliated him and wanted to kill David.

David came out of hiding and bowed three times before Jonathan. They kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded. It was a very sad goodbye, especially for David. Jonathan said, “Go in peace. We have taken a vow in the Lord’s name that will bind us forever. You and me, your seed and my seed, together!” David rose and escaped Jonathan’s father again.

When David later heard about Jonathan’s death, he tore his clothes and cried – singing, “I weep for you, my brother Jonathan! Oh, how much I loved you! How wonderful was your love for me, far beyond the love from any woman!”  1 Samuel 18 – 2 Samuel 1

Gilgamesh writes:

Oh… Sure, if this were an Ang Lee film, it might be the making of an epic love story of star-crossed lovers, but – we’re not saying there was anything questionable about David and Jonathan’s Biblical Bro-mance! Boys will be boys, right?

You can purchase the Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible – Vol. 2 here.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

To Top