Christian preacher: If parrots can talk, it’s not hard to believe a snake talked to Eve

If you’ve ever wondered how some religious fundamentalists come to the conclusion that the earth is 6,000 years-old, or that humans co-existed with dinosaurs, or that hurricanes are actually divine punishment for the fact that gay people exist, all you have to do is dig a little and you’ll understand that there’s no real process of “coming to a conclusion” at all. To come to a conclusion, one must engage in some sort of thought process. People who choose to interpret the bible literally already have their conclusions made up for them. Their job is to twist and bend reality until it matches up.

Charismatic Christian evangelist and faith healer Andrew Wommack bends reality effortlessly. His ideas are so bizarre, even other Christians warn their fellow believers not to fall into his cultish line of thinking. But the most fascinating thing about Wommack and others of his ilk is how they can garner such huge followings with a message that’s so underwhelming in its creativity.

In a livestream “bible study” flagged by the Friendly Atheist‘s Hemant Mehta, Wommack fields some fairly challenging questions from listeners with answers that sound as if he’s just phoning it in.

One questioner wondered why other planets exist if the earth is the center of God’s plan.

“[The Bible] says that in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and the Earth was the focal point of His creation, and He placed the Sun and the moon and the stars in place to give light upon the Earth,” Wommack replied. “And so I really do believe that, you know, this question, to me, appears like he’s saying, well, if they aren’t inhabited, if life isn’t on them, what’s the purpose of them? It could be nothing but just to give light upon the Earth, just so we could have something nice to look at.”

In other words, the planets are there for your viewing pleasure.

But this next answer is my favorite.

Michael asks: “When the snake talked with Eve in the Garden, why was she not surprised at a talking snake?”

Parrots, dummy!

It’s because animals talked. You know, we have parrots today that talk. You can teach some animals to talk. When I was a kid, in the Fort Worth zoo, there was an elephant that talked. You could get it to repeat certain words. …

I believe that, prior to the Fall, that the whole creation was different in that it wasn’t unusual for a snake to talk to them. So I think that that’s one of the results of sin… I believe in evolution, but it’s downward evolution. That we started out awesome, and we have evolved downward.

Wommack’s story of the talking elephant is either bullsh*t, or he’s accidentally recounting a dream he had while napping during Sunday school.

Either way, the whole livestream is hilarious. Watch it below:

Featured image via screen grab

Sky Palma

Before launching DeadState back in 2012, Sky Palma has been blogging about politics, social issues and religion for over a decade. He lives in Los Angeles and also enjoys Brazilian jiu jitsu, chess, music and art.